Finding the Right Approach
At one time or another, everyone has wondered about finding that right approach. That perfect opener that melts that special someone’s heart and sends them head over heals for you. Sorry, but there is no way to break this gently… It doesn’t exist! There is no one way to approach someone because there are so many different factors and variables in every meeting.
Creating just one approach and sticking to it would be a monumental waste of time and energy. As they say… “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all the people some of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time”. Setting, timing and mood have so much to do with how individuals respond to one another. If your really looking for the right approach, you need to focus on the following elements when making you move.
Setting the Scene
Romance is a strange phenomenon. Sometimes just the right setting, will bring ultimate success on any romantic endeavor. It almost goes without saying that some places are just perfect for finding the date and love of your dreams, but keep in mind that some place are also the worst inopportune time as well. A friend’s wedding is a wonderful place to meet that someone special, but if you spot that same individual having a business lunch meeting, it’s safe to say it’s not the best time to have the waiter send over a bottle of their best wine. You need to be somewhat selective about where you look for potential dates.
When people say that timing is everything, they’re most likely exaggerating but they do have a valid point. Unfortunately, timing is only half of the ‘right place at the right time’ equation. Still, it can be the difference in getting a valid phone number and getting a fake one. You can be in the most romantic scene in the world, but if the timing is off, you’ll definitely have a problem finding your true love. Luckily, you do not have to pick up on every subtle cue before asking someone out. It usually only takes a couple of seconds to assess a given situation before moving in or retreating.
Take this situation for example… While a local grocery store may be an ideal place to meet your perfect love, approaching someone engaged in a heated discussion over the last half gallon of fat-free ice cream is probably not a good idea. Wait for the check out line before making your move. This will give that person time to cool down and give you time to access what’s in their basket. Once they calmed down, they’ll be a lot more receptive to your advances.
If the new subject of your perfected lustful glances is wearing an angry or depressed expression, you definitely need to keep your distance. Don’t even think about interfering using the ‘Bozo Technique’. What is this technique you ask? Picture yourself minding you own business, when some bozo clown looks you straight in the eyes and tells you to “smile.” Absolutely never try this unless your aim is to practice random acts of viciousness and annoy as many people as possible of a given day. No good whatsoever can come from this technique.
You must watch for facial clues to correctly gauge moods. Understanding facial expression is easier than it sounds. Just ask yourself, “Would I make that face is I was feeling calm, happy, agreeable or satisfied?” If the answer is “No”, try to catch that individual when they are in a better mood.
Working the Crowd
If you believe that ‘three is a crowd’, then you definitely want to avoid approaching large groups. While more is usually merrier, a tightly knit group of singles can put a damper on your romance plans. Unless you’re interested in a serious challenge, the best way to navigate through crowded rooms is to divide and conquer. You can either try to capture that future love’s attention from a distance and motion to another part of the room, ask them to dance in a secluded part of the dance floor, or wait until they set off for the bathroom. Anyway you choose, it’s best if you can separate that person from their clique. Certain things like accepting a date or stealing a kiss should not be up for a group decision.