“I would like some advice. I have a guy and we secretly meet. He told me he likes me, but I suspect that he has a girlfriend. I really like him, but I am confused because I don’t know what to do. Sometimes he acts like he cares and other times he doesn’t.”
Maureen, London

Few experiences can rival the disappointment of finding that ideal someone only to discover that their personality or relationship situation is flawed beyond repair. It’s worse than spending hours over the hot stove and then burning that perfect dinner. It is a travesty, but since it happens all the time, you must deal with it.
Denial is a common reaction. Many people dismiss warning signs and continue to indulge their fantasies of a great future in couplehood.
You need to take serious consideration of your first instinct. Why was your meeting hid in secrecy? If he is involved with someone else, no matter what you’re attraction is, it will not workout without disappointment and heartbreak. Even if he did leave his present girlfriend for you, how do you know he won’t cheat on you and leave you for the next? Even while you’re together, you’ll always wonder if he is yours and yours only.
You need to do your homework. Ask him to do things on the spur of the moment. Ask him if you can call him in the middle of the night if you’re thinking about him. If you get the runaround on these answers, then you need to move on to someone who is more deserving of your desire.